I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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