4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
nut hugger
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
