Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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