life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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