gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
