I'd wear matching sweaters with you
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Even my vagina gasped.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
