never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
