after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
