she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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