Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
