and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I deserve this hangover.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
