I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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