I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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