I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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