im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
