super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
