My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I will die if light touches me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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