You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
