Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm getting married
To pizza
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
