i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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