Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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