im six kinds of drunk right now
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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