yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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