I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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