Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
there is glitter all over my balls
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
