I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
