They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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