He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
