I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
