His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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