We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
