My room smells like vodka and shame
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
