I'm jealous of your bromance
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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