What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it's great music for shaving your balls
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
