i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
