We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize