Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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