You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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