it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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