i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You're like the curious george of whores
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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