ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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