I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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