Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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