I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
