i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
