Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
