There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
