I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I made him laugh his dick is mine
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
