My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize