Me too!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My ass is underappreciated
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
